Morissey (below) is set to perform tomorrow night. But will he?
Morrissey hasn’t played in the Bay Area in, oh, about four years, mainly due to last-minute cancellations (calling in sick, “visa administration errors”, ulcers—you know, regular stuff). But with mere hours to go until his 9 p.m. curtain call at the Regency Ballroom, it’s looking like he might actually play. If he doesn’t it’ll surprise no one, but given his flare for elaborate excuses, we can expect a good one.
Here, our top ten predictions of what alibi he’ll use this time.
10.) The pho he had for lunch was made with chicken stock.
9.) He’s too busy filing another cease-and-desist order on a fan site.
8.) He got distracted watching the Bay Lights only to be totally uninspired by it.
6.) Because “Work is a Four Letter Word”
5.) He’s too busy contemplating which is worse: life or death.
4.) He caught a brief whiff of McDonald’s on his way to the venue and was instantly incapacitated.
3.) His Northern California fans seem too eager to see him perform. Make them suffer, Moz.
2.) He stayed home to watch the Beyonce documentary in order to count her rhino-killing handbags.
The show is sold out, so if you want to take your chances that he'll show up, you'll have to hit up Stubhub.