Pictured: A simpler, better time, when men were men and cookies were $3.50 a box.
The Girl Scouts of Northern California has raised the price of a box of Thin Mints—and all the other varieties of cookies that they sell—to gentrification prices. That's right—$5. Heck, for that amount of money, you could buy a slice of toast and still have a buck left over. According to the San Francisco Business Times, the local organization is the only one in the country to raise prices this year. (It's true! We were in San Diego this weekend and bought a $4 box of Thin Mints from a Brownie in Balboa Park.)
The culprit? We wish we were kidding you, but it's the same thing that destroying all that is good and holy in San Francisco: Rents. (First they came for the Elbo Room, then for the Tagalongs) Marina Park, the chapter's executive director, says that the price increase is meant to defray rising expenses for the Girl Scouts, including the cost of running the organization's facilities. "Rather than scaling back the opportunities we offer girls, we raised the price of cookies," she said.
Each box costs about 94 cents to make and 8 cents to sell, with the profit going to fund troops and council services. The last time the Girl Scouts raised the price of a box of cookies was in 2009, when it went from $3.50 to $4. ($3.50 in 2008 is $3.79 in 2014 dollars, meaning that the price increase for the cookies has beaten inflation significantly over the period.)
Given that rent control has solved every problem in San Francisco's housing crisis, we can't wait until folks start agitating for Samoa price controls from the city and blaming out of town cookie speculators. And we're not saying that we can prove the Google buses caused the price increases, but the timing sure does feel awfully suspicious, doesn't it? Unless the Girl Scouts start offering below market rate set asides and price protections for longtime cookie buyers, we expect protestors to start blocking vanfuls of Girl Scouts in the Mission District any minute now.
And hey, in other news, if you're going down to Santa Cruz this weekend—where the cost will remain at $4—could you pick us up a few ounces of the green stuff, man?