FDA Orders Mrs. Google to Stop Selling Dangerous DNA Tests: Who knew that conducting a complex medical testing procedure through literally a box you get in the mail could yield iffy results?
Batkid: President Obama Denied Audience With Nation's Most Popular 5-Year-Old: This is basically like when Sinead O'Connor ripped up a picture of the pope on SNL. (H/t: SFist)
Cal Bears Suffer Record-Setting Loss in 116th Big Game: Well, at least they're getting a world-class education. OH WAIT. (H/t: BANG)