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Bay Area Due for Big Earthquake, Says Every Headline Ever

Scott Lucas | October 14, 2014 | Lifestyle Story City Life

When we opened our Wall Street Journal this morning, you can imagine our shock at the headline:"Study Bolsters View That San Francisco Area Is Due for Big Earthquake." The Big One! It's coming, as inevitable as the October heat wave and the Giants making a playoff run in even-numbered years. But, as we sipped our yerba mate and ate our bowl of fat-free hemp granola, we wondered if we hadn't heard something about the earthquake to end all earthquakes coming before.

Was it May 19, 2014, when the San Jose Mercury told us that an "Earthquake cluster likely to strike Bay Area, scientists say"? No, that wasn't it.

It must have been April 3, 2011 in the Examiner, in which the headline told us, "Seismologists say Bay Area is due for major earthquake that could cripple region." No, not that either.

Maybe we were thinking of the Daily Cal story in 2011 that said, "Earthquake predictions trigger anxiety, fear in Berkeley community"? Was it the 2009 story that Palo Alto Online timed to the anniversary of Loma Prieta that said, "20 years later, experts predict bigger quake"? The 2008 Chronicle story saying the "Next big quake could be worse than 1906"? No, no, and no.

Gosh darn it, we're never going to remember which headline we were thinking of. Shoot. Well, just in case, let's check our open browser tabs.

Hey. Hey wait! We think we found it. This is the story we were thinking of: "We Still Can't Predict Earthquakes."

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