San Francisco and New York are exactly alike: they're both totally allergic to comparisons. With that in mind, it was no surprise that The Bay Area, Through the Eyes of a New Yorker got a lot of people going. "I don't know why," Conde Nasty wrote via SFist, "but it has become deeply important to me to establish an airtight analogy between the NYC Metro Area and the SF Bay Area...I'm gonna go call a therapist." Equally consumed, we decided it was time to put the shoe on the other foot. Here, we look at New York with Bay Area eyes, refining those unimpeachable analogies between the two places that hate them most.