Word on the street is that New York Magazine is working on a big package about San Francisco right now. Something about how San Francisco is the New York, which, yeah, duh. And because we really, truly love New York Magazine—and because several of our staffers used to work there and still wake up at 4 a.m. thinking of story ideas for the Strategist—we wanted to throw our ideas into the hopper. NYMag: They're yours. Use them, don’t use them, whatever! We’re just here to help.
Here you go: Our suggested line-up of articles for New York Magazine explaining San Francisco to New York City. You're welcome.
Surge Price My Heart
[On the Uber-fication of the dating scene, wherein available young hotties spark online bidding wars for their attention. This is real thing, ps.]
Jerks: They Don’t Just Run Banks Anymore
[A survey of the jerkiest jerks in town, starring Sean Parker, Travis Kalanick, Larry Ellison, and Vinod Khosla]
You Don’t Have to Be the Mayor to Still Be "Da Mayor"
[What Willie Brown can teach Michael Bloomberg about staying in power while out of office.]
Oh My Gawd, the Kohlrabi!
[Produce is just so much better when it's actually fresh. You have no idea.]
The New Elitism Is Pretend Egalitarianism
[A think piece about the Battery Club, written by someone who sounds sort of like Tom Wolfe. Maybe Dan P. Lee?]
Nobody Gives a Shit About Derek Jeter
[Two words: Buster Posey.]
“Girls” Sucks, “Looking” Blows—Your Mind
[Your HBO show is a figment of one 25-year-old’s imagination. Ours is like watching a nature documentary.]
50 Shades of Chambray
[Men’s fashion spread. We actually used this headline once, but you’re welcome to it.]
Five-Foot-Six and Rising
[On why Ed Lee might actually be more progressive than Bill DeBlasio]
Oakland Is Not the New Brooklyn
[Brooklyn Is the New Oakland. Get it straight, you narcissists.]
The Bars Close Early Because We Need to Get Up for Hot Yoga
[The complete guide to Bay Area morning workouts]
Holy Shit, Hawaii Is Five Hours From Here
[Summer travel guide]
Journeys Along The Great Kombucha Trail
[Hah! You totally fell for it. Kombucha is actually disgusting.]
So. Much. Weed.
[A taxonomy of Bay Area cannabis, with a sidebar on which Girl Scout cookies to order with them.]
BART Smells Fine, You’re Overreacting
[The subway’s way worse. Most of the time.]