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Surviving Tomorrow's Orange and Black Bonanza

Ben Christopher | October 30, 2012 | Lifestyle Story City Life

Parade Starts:
Tomorrow, 11:00 a.m.
Market at Steuart (Justin Herman Plaza)

Parade Ends:
Civic Center Plaza

Best Viewing Spots:
This year, the city has abandoned 2010's meandering route through the Financial District in favor of a straight-shot up Market. This will give anyone in the thick of things a pretty good view of the procession (if one obscured by flurries of ticker-tape). For those looking to stay up and out of the fray, seek out higher ground at the Hyatt Regency, the Four Seasons, or the top floor of the Westfield Centre.

Delays to Expect:
Starting at 9:30 a.m., the SFMTA will be shutting down the F rail line and re-routing all buses that cross or run along market. For how long? According to the agency’s website, “until clear.” With 1 million people expected to show up, that could be a while.

Victory Parade Dos:
- Wear plenty of orange and black!
- Bring your camera/phone/camera-phone and take lots of pictures!
- Come with the whole family!

Victory Parade Don'ts:
- Light anything on fire. Seriously, guys.

Two-in-One Victory Parade/Halloween Costumes:

A Panda: What a great idea! Did you think of that yourself?

A Broom: Offers both a clever way to rib Detroit and an easy way to help out with the post-parade clean-up.

A Dead Tiger: Too obvious?

A nonplussed Justin Verlander: Practice catch-phrases like, “But my post-season E.R.A. was 0.74,” “Pablo Sando-who?” and “Wow.”

The Ghost of Melky Cabrera’s Career: Hey, remember that guy? Me neither!

Ordinary baseball-themed costumes, but half-naked: Carry on that time-honored Halloween tradition of taking something wholesome, innocuous, or inanimate and sexying it up. Consider attending the parade as a sexy umpire, a sexy pitcher's mound, a sexy Brian Wilson, or a sexy Brian Wilson’s beard.

A Post-Win Rioter: Not as scary as a vampire or a zombie, but definitely just as destructive.

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