Ever since the Niners made the move out of Candlestick and down the Peninsula, strange, dare we say demonic things have been happening. There were the epic traffic meltdowns. The turf problems. The player suspensions. The domestic violence arrests. And then there was last night's game, a match which can be summed up with four numbers: 17, 0, 28 and 20. The first two numbers represent the score, with the Niners on top, in the second quarter of the first regular season game at the new Levi's stadium in Santa Clara. The second is the eventual outcome, with the Niners on the losing end.
We're calling it here and now: The stadium is cursed.
Sure it's nice to not wait in bathroom lines so long you miss the entire third quarter. Sure it's nice to have more bandwidth than the Googleplex. And we're sure that the players love the "genuine walnut finishes" on the lockers. But what really matters is having the football gods on your side. We think it's time for owner Jed York to consider a stadium exorcism.
What else but a curse could possibly be to blame for the performance of quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who threw three interceptions, coughed up a fumble, and drew an "inappropriate language" flag. And how about those 16 team penalties? Who are these guys, the Raiders? Apparently, the fans were pretty lame too.
Yes, this isn't just the stuff of a random off-night. This is systemic. We're in Exorcist territory. We don't know if we can book the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence for this kind of thing, or it requires a call to the Archbishop of No. But for Jerry Rice's sake, somebody better drive out these demons soon. Otherwise, we're turning into football's version of the Cubs.