Ten weeks in and we have yet to hear a conversation about anyone's aspirations in life: It's another recap of The Real World EXplosion. Buckle up, y'all, this one is bound to be messy.
Ashley—the drunk one who was voted off three episodes in—is set to return (probably/hopefully due to a mass EXodus of cast members). There's bound to be more sad drama between Hailey and Tom and the other couples. Alas, the show has found a rhythm.
First, we're into a dubstep-fueled recap of the relevant dramas.
"You better fucking believe I'm going to ruin his life," Hailey cries into the phone. So there's that.
The show starts off at the airport when Tom's identical twin brother, Steven, comes to town! He's handsome—but the first words out of his mouth are "Brooo!" so it's clear what we're in for.
Tom's brother and Hailey hash out the drama and their history is immediately apparent. It is clear that while Hailey may have anger issues, being on the show has brought them to the fore (i.e. that is why they brought her on this show, duh). Seeing Hailey laughing and catching up with Steven is humanizing and really charming to watch.
Okay, enough sentimentality. Time to focus on Jenny and Brian's tumultuous relationship over a feast of Subway sandwiches. Jenny makes it clear to us that even though the two have cut each other off, they still have to see each other every day! (Also, this is the point of this show). We get a silly little montage of them being annoyed by each other which features Jenny waving a knife around Brian's face. Silly!
The boys are pregaming, Tom farts, and Jenna decides she's gonna slut it up tonight. Then they're at da club. We get a brief shot of Arielle and her ex, the both of whom have received almost no screen time because they are rational human beings. So boring. Meanwhile, Jenny takes Jenna outside. Jenny is gonna be real right now, she says. "Real as fucking Colby cheese." They have a brief drunken talk about how beautiful Jenna is. That's as real as it gets. (Also: What is Colby cheese?)
It's the next day and the ladies head to Oakland, Arielle's home turf, to eat "everything." Everyone is having a blast! They're hanging around Jack London Square and the ladies are mimicking the statue of the lady flying on the eagle. "MEANWHILE," the neon green letters tell us, the boys have bro time at a bar. Jay is hounding the bar tender and everyone comments how it's really desperate and sad. Yikes.
Back at the house Jenny makes plans to hang with Ashley, as was foretold by the preview. We get some clubby song about being a wild child and Ashley's back in the house. After a brief, laugh-filled recap of the drama that has gone down the girls head to Vessel. We get shots of Jenny fist pumping in a crowd of fedoras. This is how she wants to party, Jenny tells us.
We get a brief shot of the other crew at another bar and then it's Jenny and Ashley back at the house, drunk, doing a confessional. "Ain't no stoppin' us!" Except everyone arrives right after and they are immediately stopped. We get a brief round up the peeps saying that they really don't like her or want her there and Ashley is on her way.
It's the morning after and Hailey thinks she wants to leave. She's pretty set on it. But maybe not. But probably.
Meanwhile Jenna and Jay go out for a romantic Italian lunch on the town. Apparently it's the first real date they had ever been on in two years of being together. At the end of the day Jenna "gets the title," as she puts it. They're official and Jay seems a little solemn.
It is yet another day and yet another conversation between Tom and Hailey. It's her last day. Some suspenseful synth plays and Hailey lets us know that she just needs to go home because she can't handle it. She gives a long sigh. It's a tearful goodbye. "Guess it's time to go." Tom and Corey see Hailey off at the airport and that's it. The neon green text informs us that there are only two episodes left. We get a brief preview of violence, verbal, emotional and physical, and that's a wrap, yo.
Cheers, dear reader, we have made it through another episode. And until next time, keep it ~rEaL~