The Weirdest (But Coolest) Things People are Doing This Weekend

Adam L. Brinklow | May 30, 2014 | Lifestyle Story City Life

Are your weekends getting a little passé? Lucky for you, this is a town where you can find absolutely anything to do on a Saturday, and we do mean anything. If you don't believe us, just look at what your neighbors will be up to:

-Dog Fashion Show: Plainly an idea whose time has come. You're invited to dress your dog in his or her most fashionable springwear and take to the red carpet. Which is not a metaphor, there will be an actual red carpet for them, presumably one that will be steam-cleaned later. There's also a free pet psychic to translate the losing dog's Top Model style meltdowns, and a dog sundae bar, which we sincerely hope means they serve sundaes to dogs rather than making sundaes out of them. As much as we're making fun here, we're totally going, and you know you are too. Registration fees go to charity. (Saturday, Palo Alto)

-Citywide Capture the Flag Game: This is another Undercover Games affair, and a valuable opportunity to use playground skills you've neglected since grade school. Two teams cover multiple city blocks in an effort to (inconspicuously) nab the other team's banner. Organizers encourage you to pack a few disguises to throw everyone else off your trail, but we'd advise you be careful about donning suspicious garb while lurking around that Jessie Street alley. (Sunday, the Mission)

-Masturbate-a-Thon: ...wait, what? We thought this might turn out to be a metaphor, but no, it's a competitive masturbation tournament at the Mission Street Center for Sex & Culture. Although we don't know how trying the competition can really be, because surely everyone wins in the end? But it's for a good (enough) cause: "The intent of the Masturbate-a-Thon is to encourage people to talk about masturbation in a positive, non-shame-based way." Okay, that sounds healthy, but we're still not lowering our eyebrows. Incidentally, donations are tax deductible, so you really can't lose here. (Sunday, The Mission)

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