Hipster Niners fans
Rapper Mike Jones eloquently put it "Back then hoes didn't want me, now I'm hot hoes all on me. "Nothing better sums up the current relationship between the 49ers and their fans than this poetry. With great success comes a great number of bandwagon fans: Now that the Niners are good, rocking bugundy and gold is more in vogue than wearing flannel. Read the emails from 49er fans complaining about the bandwagoners and you'll understand how widespread this epidemic really is.
Now, we're not here to bandwagon-shame any of you who suddenly recently realized they're all about the Niners. Here's your cheat sheet to important facts and tidbits any true Niners die-hard would know.
Back to Basics:
The Niners are the first major league professional sports franchise based in San Francisco.
They play in the West Division of the National Football Conference. Their home games are played at Candlestick Park—colloquially known as "The Stick"—in the Bayview-Hunter's Point neighborhood. This is actually their last season at The Stick: the squad will be moving to Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara in 2014.
Their division rivals are the Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, and Arizona Cardinals.
The Niners lost the Super Bowl this year to the Baltimore Ravens 34-31.
Their first game of the 2013 season is this Sunday at The Stick at 1:25pm against the Green Bay Packers.
You've probably heard of that guy named Colin Kaepernick. Kaepernick burst onto the scene in the middle of last season to fill in for the injured Alex Smith and subsequently led the team to a Super Bowl appearance. And since the Super Bowl, Mr. Kaepernick has had quite the eventful offseason.
You know, other players matter, too:
Tight End and one-time San Francisco cover boy Vernon Davis is considered one of the best TEs in the NFL and you should expect to see him and Kaepernick linking up for hella yardage and touchdowns this season. Davis' most important moment in Niners history came during the 2012 playoffs when he made an improbable touchdown catch known as "The Grab" or "The Catch III" to send the Niners to the NFC Championship. We also have a pretty good running back by the name of Frank Gore who ran for 1214 yards and scored eight touchdowns last season and is expected to put up just as equally impressive numbers this season. Our two main wide receivers are Kyle Williams and Anquan Boldin. Williams is meh, but should see a significant improvement this season and Boldin is a proven veteran, after all we should know, he was on the team that beat us in the Super Bowl.
On the defensive side, we're pretty solid. We gave up the third least yards in the NFL last year, anchored by linebackers Patrick Willis and Aldon Smith. Smith had an unreal 19.5 sacks last season; for those of you who aren't familiar with football stats, getting 10 sacks is a big deal, let alone almost doubling that number.
Be excited, our team is stacked.
Our Coach Jim Harbaugh
He's a maniacal tantrum-throwing manchild, but he's maniacal tantrum-throwing manchild who knows how to coach. The season before Harbaugh was hired, the team was 6-10 and then Harbaugh came in from Stanford and led the team to a 13-3 record but lost in the NFC championship. In his second season, he took us to the Super Bowl where Jim lost to his older brother John. We're in good hands.
# of Super Bowl Championships: 5; 1981 (XVI), 1984 (XIX), 1988 (XXIII), 1989 (XXIV), 1994 (XXIX)
# of Hall of Famers: 13 (12 players and one coach)
# of Times a Niner has the MVP award: 5
# of Touchdown passes thrown from Steve Young to Jerry Rice: 85
# of Career passing yards Joe Montana Threw for the Niners: 35,124
# of 4th-quarter comebacks by Joe Montana: 31
# of Career wins by hall of fame Niners coach Bill Walsh: 92
# of All-time 49er regular and post season wins: 562
The Catch and The Catch II
The most significant moment in Niner's history is known as "The Catch:" The winning touchdown pass thrown by Joe Montana to Dwight Clark in the 1982 NFC Championship against the Dallas Cowboys.
There's also "The Catch II". In that game Steve Young throw a 25 yard touchdown to Terrell Owens with nine seconds left in a 1998 NFC wild card match against the Green Bay.
Ten current NFL coaches are "descendents" of the Bill Walsh coaching tree.
Willie Brown once called Niners Quarterback Elvis Grbac an "Embarrasment to Humankind".
The Beatles played their last concert at Candlestick Park in 1966.
Colin Kaepernick was drafted in the 43rd round of the 2009 Major League Baseball draft and holds the record for most rushing yards by a quarterback in a single game.
Now remember, your research doesn't stop here. There's plenty more Niners info you need to brush up on before you can ascend to the ranks of true fandom. But now you know enough about the team that if someone dare call you a bandwagoner, they'll surely regret it.