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What You Need to Know About Today's Giants Parade

Scott Lucas | October 31, 2014 | Lifestyle Story City Life

So, how about them Giants? The team's victory parade is today, and we're breaking down everything you need to know.

Where is it? The parade begins at Market and Steuart (right near the Ferry Building), and continues all the way down Market to Civic Center, where there will be a a rally on the east steps of City Hall. Market Street should reopen around 1:30.

When? The parade starts at noon. Go on your lunch break!

How should I get there? Well, you probably don't want to drive. We can tell you that much. BART and Caltrain are running increased services, so those are both good options. In fact, BART will be running until 2 this morning. MUNI is re-routing trains that normally use the surface of Market, so you may expect some delays.

What about the rain? Yeah, yeah, there's a little rain today. Up to half an inch is predicted, so bring a rain coat.

What are the floats going to look like? SFist ran some pictures here. Check them out.

Isn't it Critical Mass today? It is. Every last Friday of the month. The counter-cultural bike ride starts at 6 tonight, which is plenty of time for the parade to have cleared out, but just about when Halloween celebrations start to get rolling. Which—by the way—since today is Halloween, the city is going to be in full party mode all day and night. We recommend either embracing it, or getting out of town entirely.

Can I pull my kids out of school? If you did, it would make the Superintendent have a sad. Besides, the Giants are going to win a World Series every even year from now until the sun explodes. There will be plenty of time for your kids to watch a parade when they don't have to learn times tables.

Will Batkid be there? Again, it's a school day today.

Can I ditch work? Oh lord yes. Work is for losers. You should be pounding champagne starting now.

I thought the parade was officially alcohol-free? It is. So pre-game. Or post-game. Don't be a jerk. There's going to be kids there,

Is it appropriate to dress up as a panda? It is never not appropriate to dress up as a panda.

Will Madison Bumgarner be my friend? I feel like we could play XBox together and then maybe just cuddle a litte? Sadly, no. Madison Bumgarner is not accepting friend requests at this time. But Timmy's down to smoke a bowl.

Ugh. No way. Last time Lincecum came over he crashed on my couch for like a week and droned on about the Dalai Lama. Plus, when he finally left, there were all these weird stains on the fabric. Same thing happened to us. Plus, he never pays for pizza.

How does the Giants win affect the Assembly race? Jesus, can we shut up about that for like one minute? Ugh. Fine, it means the guy named David is more likely to win, ok?

Is this a dynasty? It's a dynasty.

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Email Scott Lucas at slucas@modernluxury.com
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