After the news broke today that an enterprising member of the Girl Scouts had begun selling her $5 cookies on the sidewalk in front of a local marijuana dispensary, there was only one question that we knew we had to answer.
Which strains of pot pair best with which Girl Scout cookies?
Do Thin Mints call out for a different blend than Samoas do? Are Do-si-does more of an indica or sativa cookie? Is there any weed that could make tagalongs palatable? In search of expert opinion, we turned to cannabis writer and former San Francisco magazine intern Caleb Pershan (you can read some of his great work here and here) for his pairing notes. (He promised us he wouldn't make any puns on the word baked.)
Here is what Pershan told us*, complete with links to reviews on cannabis site Leafly:
Tagalongs: "Luscious peanut butter and chocolate cookies are best eaten by the box-full, so stimulate your appetite while basically immobilizing yourself with a strong indica choice like Northern Lights. Pure indica strains, like Tagalongs, are known for stress relief and relaxation: use them in concert for the effects of a 'cabernet and Ambien' pairing."
Samoas: "The coconut goodness of Samoas will take you most of the way to the islands. To get the rest of the way there, use Pineapple Express. Note tropical fruit aromas as you experience an energetic high, but beware negative side effects like listening to repetitive reggae music."
Do-si-dos: "Okay, these turnt up peanut butter numbers could give George Washington Carver an allergic reaction, but instead of tempering them with a mellow high, get equally aggressive with an industrial strength strain like Alaskan Thunder Fuck. You're in for a potent cerebral high with sweet sage notes."
Savannah Smiles: "These lemon cookies with powdered sugar call for more citrus in smokable form: for that, pucker up to the hybrid strain Super Lemon Haze. The Cannabis Cup winner is tart and delectable, but to avoid confusion for you and others during your powerful high, you're advised to purchase your Savannah Smiles first and inhale second."
Thin Mints: "Before you bite into the ur-Girl Scout cookie, it's only fitting to light up a bowl of Girl Scout Cookies—the strain, that is. Popularized by the San Francisco rapper appropriately named Berner and widely heralded as the hottest strain of last year, this sweet hybrid is what you've been jealously smelling in Dolores Park."
*Pershan didn't give us any pairings for Trefoil shortbread cookies because, as he said, "they're boring."