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Will Jay-Z and Beyonce's Marriage Make It to Tonight's Concert at AT&T?

Scott Lucas | August 4, 2014 | Lifestyle Story City Life

From: Jon Steinberg, Editor-in-chief
To: Scott Lucas, Web Editor
Subject: need some beyonce—jay-z bloggage
Body: They're in town this week, with divorce rumors flying. Please do something on it this afternoon. Thx.

According to flying rumors, Beyoncé and Jay-Z may be headed for splitsville. The trouble is so intense that the couple may not take the stage at tonight and tomorrow night's concert at AT&T Park, the first of two that are planned...

(Jesus, I know absolutely nothing about Jay-Z or Beyoncé. I mean, other than "Empire State of Mind" and that one time Beyoncé sang at the Obama inaugural, and the fact that they're married and have a baby named...Operation Ivy or North or something. Why is he making me do this? Am I being punished?)

...in the duo's massive On the Run tour. A bombshell leak says that "things nearly came to a head in a meeting on Thursday that included Bey, Jay, Live Nation execs, HBO’s people, and at least four lawyers" called to keep the couple together through the end of the tour...

(The source is Perez Hilton? It that a joke? Also I don't what "Bey" means. I write about tech and politics.)

...which is scheduled to be in Paris in September...

(Oh! Oh! I know that one. That's the song he did with Kanye West. Yes—got one! This is easier than I thought it would be.)

...A source told Page Six, "This may not make it to San Francisco. I’m definitely not sure that they’ll make it to Paris."...

(Ugh, I'm quoting the New York Post. Why can't I ever write about the Review of Books? They've got a great article by Michael Ignatieff.)

...If the pair were to split, it wouldn't just be bad news for music fans. The couple is scheduled to take the stage at AT&T park Tuesday night—leaving ticket holders potentially out in the cold without an umbrella, ella, ella, ella, a, a, a....

(Are those lyrics from a Beyoncé song? Please tell me they are. *Googles 'umbrella song.'* Dammit! )

...Rumors of an impending divorce have been flying ever since last May, when Beyoncé's sister, Solange Knowles...

(Who is this, now? Is she the one in the new Karate Kid movie? God, I should have gone to law school.)

...got into a fight with Jay-Z in a New York City elevator, an altercation captured on security camera and leaked online. Jay-Z has since been linked to affairs with R&B superstar Rihanna....

(Rihanna! I knew she had something to do with this.)

....During the tour, Jay-Z and Beyoncé perform their smash hits, like...

(Don't panic, Scott. Don't panic. Think! Remember—Jay-Z was in that George Packer book you read. *Googles Jay-Z songs.*)

..."Crazy in Love."...

(Yes!)

...So will the couple take the stage tonight? With hundreds of millions of dollars riding on it, we're guessing they will find a way to work it out.

(Please, Jon, don't fire me.)

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